I have been itching to start this blog. I waited because I wanted the entries to be structured to follow my study program in the ADF- Dedicant Program. Then I realized that all the hand written entries I was writing in my journal applied just as much to this journey as the "structured" entries to follow. This is my journey, which can be as unstructured and our of the box as I want it to be. It is me after all, too much structure is a bit out of character.
I joined ADF to put a path to my spiritual growth. I have studied the Druid ways for some time; but honestly most the information I found was incomplete, a bit too ethereal and simply didn't speak to my soul. I didn't know where to look; I didn't know the difference between academic resources of Druids, opinionated resources of Druidry and some crazy kooks ideas that they called "Druidry". The breakthrough came when I stopped looking for information of Druids, and looked for information of Paganism.
My research on Pagan cultures started when I was 8 or 9. But it was more information of "non-christian" religions, like those of Egyptian, Greek and Persian cultures. This limited belief on what was pagan came from a very strict Catholic upbringing; actually being grounded from the library; and simply having limited access to information. In hind sight, that limitation can be said for many topics, not just religion. In school, we didn't have access to history books about Predominantly Black Colleges following slavery, or Japanese business men during World War II. The argument that history is written by the "winner" is topic for another blog.
I digress...as I started finding more information on Pagan practices, my soul was on fire. My brain danced with each book read; with each article researched. I went to Wiccan friends and had troves of questions; I tried to join Meetup groups to witness rituals; I went to "cult" meetings to gain insight. Most importantly I found what was NOT right for me. Through learning about the many groups that wished to practice modern Paganism I found that most were simply as wrong for my beliefs and feelings as Catholicism was. I went for 15 years without feeling at home. I made many poor choices in my life in general and grew farther and farther away from my spiritual beliefs. I in all essences stopped any type of practices. I didn't pray, I didn't meditate, I didn't fellowship. I was just stumbling through life...lost.
Now that I am standing at the start of the path for this journey, I realize that all my stumbling through the dark was preparing me to not just embark on this journey, but to appreciate all that the journey shall bring to me. It took freeing myself from all the confines of living my life for others. I will now only live for myself, be who I am meant to be, and love life for all that is brings. This is what brought me to ADF.
Ar nDraiocht Fein; A Druid Fellowship- Our own Druidry, is an American Druid order, which history and description can be found here: http://www.adf.org/. This journal (blog) is not about being a cheerleader for ADF or Druidsm; this journal is record my journey, for academic and personal purposes. ADF is right for me because I wanted fellowship, I am not a solitary anything. I like to love, laugh, celebrate, learn, shop, and sleep with others. Even though I enjoy the peace of solitary practices, I wanted the fellowship of those who share core values. Being a Capricorn, I also needed structure. I needed studies, homework, research, academic steps. I always loved school for the simple fact I am happiest when I am learning. Do to life in general, I need my learning to sometimes have structure inorder to not get lost down too many paths. ADF offers a program that provides me that much structure amongst a group of my peers who seek the depth of spiritual practice that I seek. I certainly did not want a group of "like" thinkers. I enjoy the difference of people, class, ethnicity, age, profession, ideas, opinions. The freedom to practice the core values how we see fit is what draws me the most. That freedom of belief system is why I will always be a Druid.
No comments:
Post a Comment